Returning to Joshua Tree to Resurrect the Desert Life

I have not written in this blog for almost 2 years.  A lot has happened in my life since the last entry, including moving to San Diego in an attempt to rebuild my shattered career.  It was a roller coaster ride most of the time and in the end the writing was on the wall -- the universe just doesn't want me to have a professional career.  I am still struggling to accept that I have not made anything of myself in the time I've been on this planet.  I did work hard to finish my degree in 2007 and I thought that would automatically equate to fixing my problems, all of which have related to the lack of money, dead end jobs, and poor salary.  But instead I find myself back in the same old boat -- I have nothing to show for over the past 3 decades.

That being said, I have to concentrate on the things I DO have in my life.  I am married to a man who is clearly very devoted to me.  And although we don't have many common philosophical threads, our relationship somehow works.  Tony has his interests and I have mine -- sometimes we meet in the middle.  When my job situation in San Diego fell apart, I finally had to admit that my destiny needs to be in Joshua Tree and I moved back in January 2015.  So now I am starting over once again with trying to reconcile my feelings about where my life has gone.  I am helping Tony with his growing business and I have reconnected with all my high desert friends.  I am determined to make it work this time -- frankly, I don't have a choice.  To keep swimming against the tide makes no sense, so I need to go with the flow.  The only thing I keep in the back of my mind is that in my next life I will do things differently so that I can feel good about my accomplishments -- I will get a college education early on and I will make sure to have a lucrative career next time around.  Money cannot buy happiness, but it does afford one freedom and choice.

A Transitional Time

It's been a tough couple of months for me.  On December 12, 2012, I had to say goodbye to my best friend and the love of my life.  Dihedral and I had been together for nearly 15 years and she was the best companion I could have ever asked for.  She was there when I needed her during the toughest times, including when I suffered from serious health problems relating to Long Term Withdrawal Syndrome after discontinuing Paxil.  She was there when I spent lonely and isolated days here in the high desert, ever missing my home in San Diego of 21 years.  And in the end my heart broke harder than it ever did the morning I had to let her go.  She had lived with the Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) for approximately 8 years and toward the end, the disease seemed to have caught up with her.  Companion Animal Clinic staff did their best to help us keep her well and in the end Dr. Megan helped me make the decision.  It didn't really make it easier since I still wonder if I could have done more.  But the next step would have been exploratory surgery to find out if she had internal bleeding and we agreed it wouldn't be fair to a 15-year-old kitty to put her through something like that.

Here are a few photos of my sweet Dihedral when she was still happy and healthy:

I found that my grief from the loss was quite overwhelming and worse than I could have ever imagined.  She was my best friend after all!  In order to try to cope, I continued to visit the kitties at the Joshua Tree no-kill shelter and it was just a matter of time that my heart knew what I had to do.  The thing is, my new kitty cat would select me!  Cosette came in as a stray and the staff estimates she is between 2-3 years old.  The day we met and I took her out of her cage, she immediately plopped herself on my lap.  I knew then that she had decided she wanted me as her Kitty Mom.  She has been with us now for nearly 2 weeks and has adjusted quite well.  I wonder where she came from since she was clearly well cared for.  I can only imagine that she somehow slipped away from her home and got lost.  I wonder if her prior family is looking for her?  I posted many photos of her on Facebook, but none of my local high desert friends recognized her as belonging to someone who lives in this area.  Here are a few photos of my new kitty cat, who I am calling Cozy as her nickname:

Full Moon Rising in Joshua Tree National Park

Every now and then you find yourself being at the right place at the right time.  I recently spent a fun afternoon climbing in the shade with my friend Tricia, which is something special in the summer here in Joshua Tree.  On the way out we noticed a HUGE full moon coming over the hillside and I was able to capture these photos.

Mustard Eradication at Pioneertown Mountains Preserve

Today I spent the afternoon helping Ranger Lucas remove some invasive Sahara mustard from Pioneertown Mountains Preserve.  Caroline helped us too and we spent about 2 hours working in the great outdoors.  Although I'm just a volunteer, I have to say I'd love to get paid to do this kind of manual labor.

Whitewater Preserve Fundraiser

The Wildlands Conservancy has an annual fundraiser and this year we had some wild weather in Whitewater Canyon.  This event took place in mid-April and normally it's already starting to get rather warm in that area.  However, a late spring storm came in and it was pretty windy and cold.  I rather enjoyed the change of pace!

On the way out after the fundraiser activities were coming to a close, I noticed a "memorial" along the side of the road for two young folks that had died in a tragic car accident many years ago.  All the times I drove this road I had not noticed it.  Note to self:  Be more present!

Last Zulu Hike of the Season

Unfortunately summer is slowly seeping in and the temperatures are starting to rise.  Zulu took us on the last hike of the season over in the Pinto Basin area.  We did one of the really cool canyons that took us up near the Hexie Mine.

Queen Mountain Hike with Shauna

Queen Mountain is one of my favorite places in Joshua Tree National Park.  It is remote and on the wild side, as both Shauna and I soon discovered on a recent hike.  We found what was left of a bighorn sheep carcass.