Returning to Joshua Tree to Resurrect the Desert Life

I have not written in this blog for almost 2 years.  A lot has happened in my life since the last entry, including moving to San Diego in an attempt to rebuild my shattered career.  It was a roller coaster ride most of the time and in the end the writing was on the wall -- the universe just doesn't want me to have a professional career.  I am still struggling to accept that I have not made anything of myself in the time I've been on this planet.  I did work hard to finish my degree in 2007 and I thought that would automatically equate to fixing my problems, all of which have related to the lack of money, dead end jobs, and poor salary.  But instead I find myself back in the same old boat -- I have nothing to show for over the past 3 decades.

That being said, I have to concentrate on the things I DO have in my life.  I am married to a man who is clearly very devoted to me.  And although we don't have many common philosophical threads, our relationship somehow works.  Tony has his interests and I have mine -- sometimes we meet in the middle.  When my job situation in San Diego fell apart, I finally had to admit that my destiny needs to be in Joshua Tree and I moved back in January 2015.  So now I am starting over once again with trying to reconcile my feelings about where my life has gone.  I am helping Tony with his growing business and I have reconnected with all my high desert friends.  I am determined to make it work this time -- frankly, I don't have a choice.  To keep swimming against the tide makes no sense, so I need to go with the flow.  The only thing I keep in the back of my mind is that in my next life I will do things differently so that I can feel good about my accomplishments -- I will get a college education early on and I will make sure to have a lucrative career next time around.  Money cannot buy happiness, but it does afford one freedom and choice.